More Texts From Last Night

Hilarious stuff from Texts From Last Night, I think this is my new favourite site.

(614): Theres a turkey in the oven. It should be ready by 4.
(1-614): I thought it was ham…..
(614): NO! Its goddamn turkey,ok? Its cheaper!
(1-614): You know what? I don’t need this! take your stupid turkey and
shove it in your coo. I’m taking the kids and we’re getting a ham.
(614): You’re such an ungrateful bitch sometimes.
(1-614): I wish you had a bigger penis.
***********
(631): I woke up after being passed out, on the grass in front of my
dorm, to a bunch of incoming freshmen and their parents staring at me
in shock WELCOME TO COLLEGE F*CKERS!!!
***********
(410): we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts.  i’ve never seen you happier
************
(571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
(703): and miss being on the news….no way
********************
(586): apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can’t even be mad about that.
**************
(509): after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
***************
(978): You have to understand, this is the first time I’m looking at a whopper sober.

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