this really hurts me…

How does one just stop being friends with another? How does one just shut off any emotion they might feel towards somebody else? How does one just instantly not care about somebody they have spent a lot of time with?
I’m really struggling with this one, recently, somebody I deeply cared for and trusted just turned their back on me. I really don’t know how anyone could just do that. And I don’t know how I could have been so mistaken about another human being like that. I like to think I’m normally more careful about the kind of people I choose as friends.
Oh sure, in the heat of the moment, if somebody does something that angers me, I might say something not very nice, but, I get over it usually. Unless it’s something that’s really wrong….like say, a friend sleeping with my bf or the man that I’m interested in….you just don’t do that sort of thing, in my books that’s a basic moral code – you don’t do your friends bf’s or men of interest.
But, I digress….
I suppose it all boils down to the important lesson Di taught me awhile back….not everybody thinks like I do.
I’ve always felt that friends are supposed to be loyal and true to each other. True friends don’t just turn away at the first fork in the road, they’re supposed to be there through thick and thin. Of course there are exceptions to that….Family and children should be priority number two (yourself being number one – ‘cos if YOU don’t take of you 1st, how you gonna take care of anybody else?).
My definition of a true friend:
A true friend calls on you regardless of what you may or may not have to offer them. A true friend tells you when you’re making a fool or an ass of yourself, doesn’t let you out of the house looking like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show and laughs at you when you show up wearing your t-shirt inside out and backwards, especially if you had it that way all day and didn’t know it until he/she pointed it out. A true friend doesn’t just offer you a tissue when you’re crying, they give you a shoulder and sometimes, they cry too.

I have a few people in my life that I can call true friends, I’m happy to say….it just really hurts to discover I have one less than I believed. I hope that person knows I cared for him/her & I always will. I’ll be here, hand extended in friendship, should he/she want to be a part of my life again.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Tatiana Tanya Sorosky
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 05:51:45

    I always thought that I could empathize and “read” people. But once I form the opinion, I am not reading 24/7 or I’d go looney. So as goes on, there are

    changes happening for all of us.

    Then the moral compass; I figured we all as a society had certain morals & values apart from any religion or culture. Well, on that – I learned the hard

    way. I never saw a group of people with absolute disrespect in every aspect, as I found with an entire family that I am supposed to become part of.

    Sometimes even the best of friends take their friendship for granted. I lost friends and was so hurt as well. My friends wanted what I couldn’t give

    anymore- my situation changed- my whole life changed and while I has trying to wrap my mind around what was happening to me and what that means

    for my own future- friend decided they could not or would not understand. Just when I needed them the most.

    Then there are people who are our friends until there is something you have that suddenly makes you their rival. All the good times the morals the

    feelings go out the window because in their mind “all is fair in love and war”…and they may or may not know this is a huge mistake that can cost not one,

    but 2 people pain. And they won’t admit it – unless they come to the “I really fu*ked this up” conclusion.

    I think your definition of a true friend is exactly the way I think as well.

    “My definition of a true friend:
    A true friend calls on you regardless of what you may or may not have to offer them. A true friend tells you when you’re making a fool or an ass of

    yourself, doesn’t let you out of the house looking like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show and laughs at you when you show up wearing your t-shirt inside

    out and backwards, especially if you had it that way all day and didn’t know it until he/she pointed it out. A true friend doesn’t just offer you a tissue when

    you’re crying, they give you a shoulder and sometimes, they cry too.”

    And you have taken the high road in keeping the communication and extending your friendship even though they have hurt you.
    It is painful when they won’t communicate and try to work things out. But we never know when or if; time will time will tell…

    We are lucky to have true friends and friends we consider family. The key to healing is to cherish the people you have in your life and those that are

    making you hurt, depressed, and really angry- they are at this moment “toxic”.

    I am lucky that you are a true friend that I consider a sister even though we have never even met in person. I am so priviliged to have you in my life.

    YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND .NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE AN EMPATHETIC, BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE AND OUT.

    And those who do not recognize this…are being narcissistic fools. Trust me on this one….

    Reply

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