A day with Dad

For the previous nine years I observed Father’s day with heartache & heartbreak, a sharp pang of loneliness for my late Father every third Sunday of June.  Even now, as I type these words, my eyes well up and I know if I try to speak, my voice will be broken.

I think of my eldest brother on my doorstep, inebriated, sobbing, one day a couple of years ago.  He said to me, “I’m just so tired of being sad” .  Then I hear my Father’s voice in mine say sternly, “Then STOP being sad!”

And today, just now, actually, I decided that tomorrow, I will try something different.  I’m going to put a stopper on those tears and say a prayer of thanks to the powers that be for blessing me with 30 years to spend with one of the greatest men I will ever know.  I’m going to remember all the fun times I got to spend with him.  And the not so fun times, though usually those were dressed up as “life lessons”, I could not have found a better teacher had I searched the world over until my dying days.

Tomorrow, I’m going to spend some time with my Dad instead of mournfully observing his absence.  Chin up, face forward.  Life goes on -a lesson from him I am still learning.

If I only knew this was the last time…

the very last time…

I would see you,

I would take the time

to treasure everything about you.

~Lance Wubbels, “If I only knew”

You only get one Dad, cherish every moment you get to spend with him.  Peace.  Love to all.

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