I try not to…..

But, I lie to myself.

On a regular basis.

I don’t believe my own lies though.

I know deep down if my most recent ex asked me back, I wouldn’t, as I keep telling myself, tell him to get stepping.  Despite what transpired between us, I miss him dearly.

I know deep down I probably won’t move from my current living situation unless an equally financially appealing prospect presented itself.  Even though I tell myself it would be worth it to pay more for my own place.

I know deep down I don’t just want a boyfriend.  I know that having somebody at my beck and call would irritate the shit out of me.  I want an equal who respects himself and who respects me just as much.  Which is why I wouldn’t tell my most recent ex to get stepping.

I know deep down I’ll never have the opportunity to tell my most recent ex to get stepping.

I know my friends will think I’m crazy when they read this.  I’m ok with that, they all think that anyway.

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