One of these things is not like the other…

Two of these things are kinda the same…..
There has been many times in my life where I’ve felt as though I were that one thing that didn’t quite fit.
I can only think of twice in my life where I truly felt as though I belonged.
I’m not sure why, but, I often feel as though I’m a spectator, standing on the outside, looking in, merely an onlooker, rarely being an actual part of the events going on around me.
I can think of only one or two people who aren’t related to me who are genuinely interested in me as a person & truly want me in their lives just because they like me & not because of what they want from me.
Years ago, a man I was dating told me I needed to get a whole new set of friends & I believe for the most part, he was right, to a certain extent.
Now, most people look at me as an object, people who say they’re my friend treat me as though I’m just a piece of meat, leering at me, laughing at my discomfort as though I’m supposed to laugh along, not realizing that with every chuckle, I view them more as an abuser than friend.
Just because you say it’s a joke doesn’t mean it’s any less disrespectful or hurtful.
This is what I miss most about Glen, as well as The Jester.
with them, I was good enough to love, not just good for only a f**k.
With Glen, I belonged. With The Jester, I belonged. They listened to me, they wanted me around & showed it.
I miss belonging, having someone with whom I fit.

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