Dear 2014, You can Eff right off already! Part 2

APRIL – JUNE

~Reeling from the mind-numbing grief of my Brother’s passing & the realization that those whom I believed to be true did not even seem to know the definition of true friendship ~ Workplace flirtations ~ Jazzy dance & sassy pants ~ An attraction that, deep down, I know will go nowhere, yet, so magnetic it’s beginning to be very difficult to ignore ~ It lifts my spirits somewhat – this youthful, optimistic adonis gives me something to look forward to in this dreary world so full of tears ~ My remaining Brother returns to my life, so sad that it took this terrible loss for us to make amends ~ Worries about my Mother, no parent should ever outlive their children ~ I can see the overwhelming grief wearing her down ~ Vows to spend as much time as possible with her, and with all my loved ones ~ Chaos at home ~ A self-entitled man forcing us all to walk on eggshells to avoid his dramatic, unnecessarily angry outbursts, he’s dangerously close to angering me to the point of no return with the verbal abuse he spews upon my Mother ~ Workplace flirtation intensifies, I’m feeling like a kid in high school & quite enjoying my work life ~ Fishing from the Company Pier nets me an unforgettable Mother’s Day ~ Sadly, I was right, this was to be a short-lived, go-nowhere affair ~ Even sadder, there’s no room in his life to be even a friend to me ~ Still, the attraction is maddening & it doesn’t help that I genuinely liked him as a person & felt that we could have been great friends ~ Extremely hostile co-worker’s last shift working with me ~ Vicious disrespect provokes me into a pissing match in front of a customer ~ So thankful my Manager understood what this spiteful little girl’s intent was ~ So glad she’s gone now & I’m getting into my groove at work, loving the opening shift ~ Assault & battery ~ Justice ~ *Finally* after months of walking virtually everywhere I wanted or needed to go, an acquaintance makes a friend of me for life by helping me out with a vehicle ~ Feeling ever so blessed & grateful to finally have a car again after so many hard months trudging through the cold, wet weather ~ A long & stressful drive to Gold River ~ Lazy days at the lake ~ Attempt to move out, enjoyed a couple of weeks of peace. ~ Move back in ~ Wishing for a do-over with my work friend, I suspect a little bit of misunderstanding (by that I mean A LOT of misunderstanding) at play ~ Too late now to fix it I suppose ~ 

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED SO FAR THIS YEAR:

  • Life IS short!  
  • Be kind.
  • Show love.
  • Walk away from pretend friends.
  • No matter how sad, or how broken and lonely you are,  if you look hard enough, there is always something to smile about.  ALWAYS. 

All the let downs over the past couple of years have begun to jade me, I’m finding it more & more difficult to trust others & I am so wary of people’s intentions & motives for befriending me.

Life is lonely when you trust no one…….

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